HOLY

So we recieved a call yesterday from Mary telling us we already have a court date! We are so excited and surprised it's so soon - this upcoming Friday, January 4th!!! I didn't expect that at all but I am so encouraged that the Lord is in control. I realize that everything in this adoption (whether I "feel" more in control or not - there are certainly times I feel more in control...) is unfolding the way the Lord designs. He is never less in control because I feel more in control but is always sovereignly reigning over our lives. There are families who are still waiting or have recieved their referral before us and have not recieved a court date...I'm sorry....things don't always connect, but it brings comfort to know, whether what I desire OR do not desire occurs, that God is doing all for my good. I am also learning that it is in the storm, in the wait and in the "hard" things that we bear fruit for God's glory. I have been so encouraged as I look back on the last 6 months at all God has done in my heart and though it's painful at times I praise him for drawing me nearer and showing me more of himself. Do I really want an easy road, a life with no difficulties? My faith would then be little and I would certainly not reflect much of God's image. May we all be encouraged that He is at work and may we joyfully sumbit to his disposal. I think the battle ground is for us to believe that God is good and therefore can only ever do good toward us. It doesn't always feel that way but I pray our hearts would see his loving hand behind all. Please join us in prayer that our court date would go smoothly and we would soon be on our way to kissing the cheeks of our precious Felicity.

In other news we moved our two boys into a room together. Since Felicity is a girl and Phinehas is older than we thought he would be (20 mos.), we think it will be good to put the boys in a room. Can I just say they are so cute? I have been praying so much they would do well in a room together because Job is an early riser but they have been doing wonderful - I completely attribute it to the Lord. He has shown us grace even in little things as we prepare for Felicity. I thought it was funny because yesterday when Phin woke up he started yelling "Job!" "Job!" and woke Job up but it was cute that he was so excited to see his brother across the room.

And lastly, I read this on Of First Importance and thought you might enjoy it:

“You know what happens when a portrait that has been painted on a panel becomes obliterated through external stains. The artist does not throw away the panel, but the subject of the portrait has to come and sit for it again, and then the likeness is re-drawn on the same material.
Even so was it with the All-holy Son of God. He, the Image of the Father, came and dwelt in our midst, in order that He might renew mankind made after Himself.”
- Athanasius, On the Incarnation

Living Without Fear

I have started listening to this series I discovered on the Titus2Talk Blog. I love that blog and the ladies are always encouraging me toward godly living and posting things that probe my heart. The series I discovered recently is from a women's conference at Capital Hill Baptist Church in Washingtong, DC. I thought I would post it as it has seriously challenged me. The speaker this year was Noel Piper (LOVE her too!). What a blessing it is to learn from these God-fearing women who have loved their husbands, their children and the church well.

* Womens Conference 2007 - Session 1 on Psalm 46

*Session 1 Q&A

* Session 2 on Psalm 91

* Session 2 Q&A

* Session 3 Biography of Betsey Stockton

* Session 3 Q&A

Merry Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS & A HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

BLESSINGS,

THE MARTIN FAMILY

"But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah, who are too little to be among the clan of judah, from you shall come forth for me one who is to be ruler in Israel, whose origin is from of old, from ancient days...And He shall stand and sheperd his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God. And they shall dwell secure, for now he shall be great to the ends of the earth. And he shall be their peace..."

MICAH 5:2-5

Proverbs 16:33

I woke up thinking a lot about our court date and was somewhat consumed with anxiety/wanting to know if it would be another month or would it be sooner, etc. I was praying about it and then I read my devotional book. This was SUCH a timely reminder for me.

“The lot is cast into the lap, but the whole disposing thereof is of the Lord.”
Proverbs 16:33
If the disposal of the lot is the Lord’s whose is the arrangement of our whole life? If the simple casting of a lot is guided by him, how much more the events of our entire life—especially when we are told by our blessed Saviour: “The very hairs of your head are all numbered: not a sparrow falleth to the ground without your Father.” It would bring a holy calm over your mind, dear friend, if you were always to remember this. It would so relieve your mind from anxiety, that you would be the better able to walk in patience, quiet, and cheerfulness as a Christian should. When a man is anxious he cannot pray with faith; when he is troubled about the world, he cannot serve his Master, his thoughts are serving himself. If you would “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,” all things would then be added unto you. You are meddling with Christ’s business, and neglecting your own when you fret about your lot and circumstances. You have been trying “providing” work and forgetting that it is yours to obey. Be wise and attend to the obeying, and let Christ manage the providing. Come and survey your Father’s storehouse, and ask whether he will let you starve while he has laid up so great an abundance in his garner? Look at his heart of mercy; see if that can ever prove unkind! Look at his inscrutable wisdom; see if that will ever be at fault. Above all, look up to Jesus Christ your Intercessor, and ask yourself, while he pleads, can your Father deal ungraciously with you? If he remembers even sparrows, will he forget one of the least of his poor children? “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he will sustain thee. He will never suffer the righteous to be moved.”
My soul, rest happy in thy low estate,
Nor hope nor wish to be esteem'd or great

To take the impress of the Will Divine,
Be that thy glory, and those riches thine.

Morning & Evening, December 19th, CH Spurgeon

A sweet day made sweeter

Felicity Yehualeshet Martin

I am still surprised we have a girl! We are so excited!!!
We were having a great day yesterday, I had been really encouraged by reading some scripture in the morning and was enjoying my boys. We had run some errands and my house was pretty much a bomb so I put the boys down for their nap and started cleaning, doing laundry, etc. My phone rang about 12:45 and the boys were already asleep. It came up as a Texas number and I was ELATED! It's very surreal when you know its your referral but you feel like it's impossible. It was Mary and she sounded so excited and sweet, she said "I am so excited for you guys! Miranda I can't wait until you see this baby's face! But of course I must ask if you need to get Paul on the phone before I tell you about the baby." So I told her I wanted Paul to be with me and that I would give him a call and check back with her on a time we could call when I knew he would be home. I dialed Paul (my heart was about to jump into my throat and I was very jittery) but he had to finish some work before he could get home. He got home about an hour after that but in the meantime I called Mary back to ask if there was a good time, etc. She said just whenever he arrived to give her a ring and then said "Can I give you a little preview?", to which I replied "I'm not sure I should find out the gender yet..." she said "well don't you know it's a little girl?" My heart melted and I about fell over. I just didn't expect that, even though I knew there was a chance of getting a girl. So I waited for Paul to get home and then we called her back to get all the details and see those ADORABLE pictures. I cannot believe it, how sweet that face is and how sweet it is that the Lord has prepared her for us before we even knew anything of her. God's grace has made this entire experience fruitful, good and amazingly sweet.

Our sweet girl's name is Felicity Yehualeshet Martin and she was born on April 3rd. She is about 8 months old and they said she is a VERY HAPPY girl. "Felicity" means happy so it's perfect for her. She is content to play alone and has been coined by the Mestas clan as "The Dancing Baby" because she sways from side to side as the caregivers clap. It's really amazing because while in Ethiopia Eileen Mestas emailed me to tell me that the babies were precious and she specifically told me of this cute baby girl who would dance and was just so sweet that she wanted to take her home along with the twin girls....it's just crazy that it was our Felicity. What a great Christmas gift to us! :o) We praise God for his faithfulness in supporting us when we were discouraged, preparing our hearts for her and doing a thousand other things in this so that we might know Him better and honor him more in our lives. Pray for us as we await our court date, which will hopefully only be a few weeks! Thanks for everyone's excitement and kind words!!!

Our Little GIRL!!!

"The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made." Psalm 145:9

Details to follow!!! We are THRILLED!!! :o)

No News Just Yet

I know I haven't been posting much but quotes but I don't have many updates and feel that the quotes I've been posting have been such encouragement to me lately. We are in week 16 and very excited that it could literally be any day. I think it's amazing how the Lord sees fit to do things. A friend of mine and I were talking. She and her husband just got word their adoption has been finally processed and their two precious little ones can come home from Liberia...it was such a battle and was quite a trial, but we were thinking about how if we knew the process would be this long we would have gone into it so differently. I think I would have had more anxiety and thought "there's no way I can wait 4 months (maybe 5!) for our referral!" or that this process will most likey take about a year from start to finish. But GOD has been so faithful and with each hurdle his grace proves to be a sure and solid rock for my feet. I would encourage those of us waiting to remember that HE ALONE is our peace and that these children are his to withhold or reveal in varying seasons. It will be for his glory and in the end may our hearts trust in Him more. Adoption is such a gift to our hearts....God peels away the layers of trust in ourselves and the "good" we feel we can put our joy in and transfers it to himself. What a blessing we get to be a part of His work and that He sees the big picture and is preparing that little one that will be His perfect pick for the Martin Family and yours (if your adopting). I want no other baby, at no other time than the one the Lord will give. Below is yet another encouraging quote I read this morning on this blog.
Childlike Obedience
“God has declared in the gospel that whenever we come to him, we are to call upon him freely and openly as our Father, who has adopted us as his children. If we do not have this assurance, the thought of serving God will make us grind our teeth.
If, however, we are persuaded that God looks upon us favourably; if, though we are weak and can do nothing worthy of his approval, he accepts us in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, then we will surely be filled with courage.
We will be like a ship’s sail that has been stretched and filled by the breeze! Thus, our hearts will run to obey him, like a ship driven along by its sail, when we know that God delights in us and accepts our works, not wanting us to be compelled into servitude. He is happy for us to be his children, and that we desire to obey him.”
- John Calvin, Sermons on Galatians (preaching on Gal 5:1-3)

Waiting in Prayer

"If thou hast been knocking at the gate of mercy, and hast received no answer, shall I tell thee why the mighty Maker hath not opened the door and let thee in? Our Father has reasons peculiar to Himself for thus keeping us waiting. Sometimes it is to show His power and His sovereignty, that men may know that Jehovah has a right to give or to withhold. More frequently the delay is for our profit. Thou art perhaps kept waiting in order that thy desires may be more fervent. God knows that delay will quicken and increase desire, and that if He keeps thee waiting thou wilt see thy necessity more clearly, and wilt seek more earnestly; and that thou wilt prize the mercy all the more for its long tarrying. There may also be something wrong in thee which has need to be removed, before the joy of the Lord is given. Perhaps thy views of the Gospel plan are confused, or thou mayest be placing some little reliance on thyself, instead of trusting simply and entirely to the Lord Jesus. Or, God makes thee tarry awhile that He may the more fully display the riches of His grace to thee at last. Thy prayers are all filed in heaven, and if not immediately answered they are certainly not forgotten, but in a little while shall be fulfilled to thy delight and satisfaction. Let not despair make thee silent, but continue instant in earnest supplication."
CH Spurgeon Morning & Evening Dec 9th

Week 15

I have really been enjoying the start to the Christmas season! For those of you who haven't yet seen it, the Atwoods receieved their referral last Thursday for their precious and long awaited boy, Isaac. Check it out and congratualte them. We are SO happy for them!! We are on 15 weeks today and the last few weeks have been a great time even as we have been waiting. God keeps working joy in our hearts as we trust His wisdom. We anticipate that call with great excitement but rest in the Lord knowing he is working all things for HIS glory. This adoption is among all things about that. This is not just to work some "good" thing we attempt to do as the world can do, nor to get a prcious baby, or even to resuce a child from Africa but we believe though it may be all those things, by His grace, it is ultimately for HIS glory so I pray we will not murmur if things continue to take longer than expected. Please see this post from good friends adopting to read a very encouraging post they wrote recently. It definately puts things in perspective. I have been gaining a lot of grace from this puritan paperback I've been reading. I'm realizing more and more only the Lord can cause my heart to see that what he has given is perfect. The problems arise when my desires are for more that the Lord has given at the present time. Only by God's grace am I able to see clearly and rest in His dealings with me. I hope the quote below brings great refreshment to the way you see your lot in life right now. We'll post when we hear something!

The mystery (of christian contentment) consists not in bringing anything from outside to make any condition more comfortable, but in purging out something that is within. Now the men of the world have contentment, and lack anything, Oh, they must have something from the outside to content them. But a godly man says: 'Let me get something out that is in already, and then I shall come to contentment.' Suppose a man has a fever, that makes what he drinks taste bitter: he says, 'You must put some sugar into my drink'; his wife puts some in, and still the drink tastes bitter. Why? Becuase the bitterness comes from a bitter choleric humour within. But let the physician come and give him a bitter potion to purge out the bitterness that is within, and then he can taste his drink well enough. It is just the same with the men of the world: Oh such circumstances are bitter, and it I could have such and such a mercy added to this mercy, then it would be sweet; but even if God should put a spoonful of two sugar in, it would still be bitter. The way to contentment is to purge out your lusts and bitter humour. 'From whence are wars, and strifes? Are they not from yout lusts that are within you?' (James 4.1)They are not so much from the things outside, but from within. So if those lusts that are within, in your heart, were got out, your condition would be a contented condition. These are the mysterious ways of godliness, that the men of the world never think of. When do you ever think of such a way as this, to go and purge out the diseases of your heart that are within?

Pg. 55 The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs

Thanksgiving & Family

Here are some new pictures of our family and the fun we had over Thanksgiving weekend. The boys had a blast playing with cousins and running around at both grandparents house at different times. I am so aware as I look at our family God has shown us so much mercy. We ate some very delicious food and played games until our sides ached from laughter. I even attempted my first turkey to feed the whole group and praise God it turned out good for a first try.

Our family shot ....I hope this isn't strange but I could just bite my kids they are so cute!

The whole gang: my sister and her boys and hubby, Dad holding Phin, my mom, Paul and I with Job, my brother, his wife and their two precious kiddos. Can't you see the love?

7 random/weird things about me

I have been tagged again by a friend over at Our Lives as Vessels of Mercy, but this time it's to tell 7 random/weird things about me....hmmmm.....where to start:

1.I hate overripe bananas....can't stand them when they get to that point where they are too brown and mushy. I don't like them under-ripe either though, right in the middle is just good.

2.Hopefully this doesn't fall into the creepy/weird category :O) But I itch my arms and hands sometimes. It just feels good and when you are wearing thick rings your hands kinda itch, it's not even because they are dry it just feels good once you start itching. My husband teases me that this kinda creeped him out one night early in our marriage when he looked over at me in bed and my arm was up in the air and I was itching it...I think that does fall into the creepy category - sorry about that.

3.My mom often mispronounced words growing up so I thought volleyBall was pronounced "volleyVall" for the longest time. Even when I played the sport (genius I know.)

4.I LOVE cheese and can get myself into some trouble eating too much. Especially sharp cheddar. I often had cheese sandwiches growing up...just mayo, bread and a thick slice of cheese.

5.I once got stuck in a vent when my sister dared me to drop from our upstairs vent to the bed in the downstairs and... you got it... I got stuck and freaked out until my dad got me out.

6.I can easily fake several accents, russian, english, new york, irish....but if we meet or when I next see you please don't ask me to do them on demand.

7. I didn't do my own hair until I was like 15, okay maybe not that old but you get the point. My sister would braid it or do my ponytails forever and just about every picture of me as a child my hair is crazy, just a mess altogether. My sister STILL does my hair, well cuts it for me anyways.

That's it for me though I am sure I could go on with more! I will tag:
1. Larissa at Living in Liberty
2. Leah at the Finn Family Blog
3.Keva at the Atwood Family blog

Seeking the Rare Jewel

Contentment is freely submitting to and taking pleasure in God's disposal. Submitting to God's disposal - What is that? The word submit signifies things else but 'to send under'. Thus in one who is discontented the heart will be unruly, and would even get above God so far as discontent prevails. But now comes the grace of contentment and send it under, for to sumbit is to send under a thing. Now when the soul comes to see its own unruliness - Is the hand of God bringing an affliction and yet my heart is troubled and discontented - What, it says, will you be above God? Is this not God's hand and must your will be regarded more than God's? O under, under! Get you under, O Soul! Keep Under! Keep low! Keep under God's feet! You are under God's feet, and keep under his feet! Keep under the authority of God, the majesty of God, the sovereignty of God, the power that God has over you! To keep under, that is to submit. The soul can submit to God at the time when it can send itself under the power and authority and sovereignty and dominion God has over it.

Contentment in taking pleasure in God's disposal...To be well pleased with God's hand comes from this: not only to see that I should be content in this affliction, but I see that there is good in it. I find there is honey in this rock, and so I do not only say, I must, or I will sumbit to God's hand. No, the hand of God is good, 'it is good that I am afflicted'. To acknowledge that it is just that I am afflicted is possible in one who is not truly contented. I may be convinced that God deals juslty in this matter, he is righteous and just and it is right that I should submit to what he has done; O the Lord has done righteously in all his ways! But that is not enough! You must say, 'Good is the hand of the Lord.' when it was a sore and hard word...Whatever the affliction, yet through the mercy of God mine is a good condition.

The soul that has learned this lesson of contentment looks up to God in all things. He does not look down at the instruments and means, so as to say that such a man did it, that it was the unreasonableness of such and such instruments...but he looks up to God. A contented heart looks to God's disposal, and submits to God's disposal, that is, he sees the wisdom of God in everything. In his submission he sees his sovereignt, but what makes him take pleasure is God's wisdom. The Lord knows how to order things better than I. The Lord sees further than I do; I only see things at present but the Lord sees a great while from now. And how do I know but that had it not been for this affliction, I should have been undone. I know that the love of God may as well stand with an afflicted condition as with a prosperous condition.

Taken from: The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment, Jeremiah Burroughs pg.33,34

New Pics

Nothing much new here. We are doing well and hit the 3 month mark Monday - yeah! God is good and we continue to hope in him. He is truly doing a work in our hearts through this waiting time and is so great a God that he makes even the "hard" things good because we know he is working and is sovereign. I took these fun new pics of the boys, hope you enjoy them.

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Battling Anxiety

Nothing new here in terms of the adoption, we reached 11 weeks yesterday, but many new things God continues to do in our hearts as we wait for our little one. I recently watched a session from John Piper's Battling Unbelief DVD that was really good. It was on battling anxiety. The DVD basically has him teaching through the book he wrote in a seminar type format. He shared two verses that have recently become my battle cry when I am tempted to anxiety.
Matthew 6:25-34

Do Not Be Anxious
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

And the next Lamentations 3:22-23
22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;23 they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness

Piper linked these two verses together in saying that each day his it's own struggles and trials and temptation to anxiety but God has provided the perfect amount of mercy to sustain us. He talked about faith in future grace. That God will sustain us in the future with new mercies but that mercy hasn't yet been given. God has sifted my trials and coupled them with a divine amount of help and grace to sustain me and help me trust him. I don't have to have the grace for every possible situation in the future, he will give it when I'm there. It only creates more anxiety when I dwell too much on future possiblities. I have to trust him today and rest in knowing he has given me new mercies with which to worship him and not be anxious.

A Sweet Consolation

I read this devotion for last night and it was perfect for us during this time of waiting. I have been so encouraged this week since Lindsey and Cortney got their referral! But I am praying ours comes sooner than the 11-12th week mark because that puts us traveling around Christmas. We will trust that God's timing is PERFECT either way. Please read the devotion below from CH Spurgeon's Morning and Evening book. If you don't have it - get it! You will always find your heart is turned out of yourself to Christ and your conscience pricked. It has been one of the sweetest blessings for me in my times with the Lord.

“She gleaned in the field after the reapers: and her hap was to light on a part of the field belonging unto Boaz, who was of the kindred of Elimelech.”
Ruth 2:3

Her hap was. Yes, it seemed nothing but an accident, but how divinely was it overruled! Ruth had gone forth with her mother’s blessing, under the care of her mother’s God, to humble but honourable toil, and the providence of God was guiding her every step. Little did she know that amid the sheaves she would find a husband, that he should make her the joint owner of all those broad acres, and that she a poor foreigner should become one of the progenitors of the great Messiah. God is very good to those who trust in him, and often surprises them with unlooked for blessings. Little do we know what may happen to us to-morrow, but this sweet fact may cheer us, that no good thing shall be withheld. Chance is banished from the faith of Christians, for they see the hand of God in everything. The trivial events of to-day or to-morrow may involve consequences of the highest importance. O Lord, deal as graciously with thy servants as thou didst with Ruth.
How blessed would it be, if, in wandering in the field of meditation to-night, our hap should be to light upon the place where our next Kinsman will reveal himself to us! O Spirit of God, guide us to him. We would sooner glean in his field than bear away the whole harvest from any other. O for the footsteps of his flock, which may conduct us to the green pastures where he dwells! This is a weary world when Jesus is away—we could better do without sun and moon that without him—but how divinely fair all things become in the glory of his presence! Our souls know the virtue which dwells in Jesus, and can never be content without him. We will wait in prayer this night until our hap shall be to light on a part of the field belonging to Jesus wherein he will manifest himself to us.

Humbled

"Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation...you restored your inheritance as it languished, your flock found a dwelling in it; in your goodness, O God, you provided for the needy." Psalm 68:5;9-10

We were invited a couple weeks ago by Shaohannah's Hope to be guests at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert. They said they would provde us with tickets but they didn't mention any specifics about a grant or anything but just that they like to use real couples to encourage others to adopt and that we could come backstage after the concert. We were so excited and thankul that God would choose to use such a thing to spur us on in this process, especially during this waiting time because it can be hard but it was just a sweet encouragement for us. We went last night and had a blast. My sister, her husband and our good friends from church as well as my parents were all able to enjoy it with us.

Afterward they let us go back and introduced us to Steven Curtis Chapman. He was very kind and we could see in his eyes he genuinly cared. Throughout the whole evening there was such a huge emphasis on the orphan and hope through giving them Christian families to be raised in. As we talked a few moments, he shared with us that we had been given a grant from them! Let's just say it was a God-ordained and perfect amount for us. We are so humbled that God has chosen to use this means to provide for us. Isn't it amazing that this journey builds our faith in God's power and ability to provide? It honors him that we DO need his help and his provision. He is overflowing with goodness and delight to provide what we need and to put it on his people's hearts to give. HE HAS DONE IT - NOT US. Isn't this the theme of our Christian lives in all areas? May he get the glory. I pray this post encourages those in the process (or even have other needs...) that he is faithful to glorify and show HIMSELF strong in our inadequacy.

Fun Fall Days

We had a wonderful Monday filled with much needed daddy time. We went to a local pumpkin patch and did a hay-ride, big slide, barn-yard animals and just plain fun. The boys got to pick out their pumpkins and bring them home. Phinehas, of course thought they were balls and insisted on picking them up and throwing them, or trying to kick them like a soccer ball. After he realized they were pretty dense when kicked, he wasn't doing it as much. Boys are so fun. Here are some fun pics of our day:

I've been tagged!

I have been reading other's "taggings", if you will, the past month or so and it's come around to me, thanks Keva!
Ok, here goes:

Jobs:

1. Starbucks barista (very fun!)
2. Worked at a bagel shop for 6 months, let's just say it's not fun smelling like an "everything" bagel the rest of the day....
3. Retail, worked at a clothing store for a while - Delias
4. I got married at 19 and had Job 10 months later, so I have had the joy of being at home with my adorable boys since then.

Places Lived:

1. Born in Alaska (Palmer) and lived there until 11, it's so beautiful there
2. Moved to Las Vegas (long story....we had some family with house there)
3. Came to NC for college

Favorite TV Shows:

1. Prison Break (I am so hooked!)
2. 24 - though now the plots keep repeating...you know...there's always a "mole" in CTU and Jack is the sacrifical lamb to save everyone....good but I can count on the outcome so it's not as much fun.
3. I realize I appear as a nerd with this list...you have found me out (I love to read and have to limit entertainment for my own good)

Books I love:

Oh where to start? I really think books have been a huge grace in my life - especially since I used to hate reading anything but magazines!
1. Sheperding a Childs Heart - GREAT parenting book
2. The Cross-Centered Life by CJ Mahaney
3. Morning and Evening by CH Spurgeon, a devotional
4. ANY good christian bio's - Tortured For Christ, My Heart in His Hands, A Chance to Die....
5. A Better Way by Simon Austen
*In my currently purchased/reading pile:
6. Getting Organized by Stephanie Winston
7. Hearts of Fire from Voice of the Martyrs
8. Uprooting Anger by Robert Jones
9. Gospel Mystery of Sanctification by Walter Marshall - AN AMAZING BOOK on living the Christian life
10. Heaven at Home by Ginger Plowman

Food Favs:
1. Love Middle Eastern/Greek food
2. Adore Mexican and spicy stuff
3. I really like On the Border Restaurant
4. Red Robin has great burgers

Places I've been:
1. Israel
2. Holland
3. Switzerland
4. Cayman Islands
5. Can't wait until we are in Ethiopia!

Things I enjoy:
1. Coffee - specifically Starbucks
2.Srapbooking...yes...I am one of "those" moms
3. Date night with my husband
4. Doing something fun and spontaneous as a family-a day trip, going to the park, having a picnic
That's as interesting as I get :o)

I will tag
* Tracie over at Our Journey of Adoption
* Larissa at Living in Liberty
* Shelly (Roberts Fam) over at Our Journey Together

Draw My Soul to Thee

This song brought sweet encouragement to my heart today. As I listened to the lyrics I found comfort that I can roll my troubles onto the Lord and trust Him in His plan for our little one, our referral call and his constant provision for us all. I know I sound like a broken record sometimes but I have to preach to my heart to trust him (especially the closer we get the more antsy I am about that call!) I think sometimes I can forget that these children are God's and not mine. My boys look so much like Paul and me that I often forget they are not "ours" but given to us as precious loans and the same goes with our little one out there. They are in God's loving care and that is the best place to be, even when it's outside of my own loving care. This will be a good reminder when I see that face, even more so that they will not have our features - what a sweet reminder that they came from God and are given to us for a time to care for them and lead in them in God's truth. If you want to hear the song with it's music (which I recommend!!) click here. Red Mountain Music has some amazing CDs.

Draw my soul to Thee, my Lord; Make me love Thy precious word!

Bid me seek Thy smiling face; Willing to be saved by grace.

Dearest Jesus, bid me come; Let me find Thyself, my home;

Thou the refuge of my soul, Where I may my troubles roll.

Lord, Thy powerful work begun, Thou wilt never leave undone;

Teach me to confide in Thee; Thy salvations wholly free.

Dearest Jesus, bid me come; Let me find Thyself, my home;

Thou the refuge of my soul, Where I may my troubles roll.

Update...

I emailed Mary at Gladney yesterday to ask if the courts opening would speed up any of the referral process for waiting families. I guess I figured that if everything was up and running things would go smoother and faster for referrals but she said that you only need the courts when you have accepted a referral, so it doesn't speed up anything. It was good to hear from her and she informed me that : "In the meantime, your dossier has been translated and held ready with B. (in-country rep) for when you receive and accept your referral". That's good news! It's good to know we are just waiting on the Lord to work out the details and we will see that sweet face - hopefully sooner rather than later! We will be at 6 weeks this Monday but my heart is aching for those out there who have been waiting longer than us - Lindsey and Cortney & The Atwoods for example - your the real troopers! I will be so excited for these couples when they get that call. Isn't it neat that God is orchestrating so many different hearts and stories and backgrounds to make a family through adoption? I think its neat to see how each of us anticipate our babies and how different all of our lives will look with an added little one. And what is even more incredible is that God is big enough to sustain us all in the midst of our waiting and He's doing so much behind the scenes work across the world and in the Gladney office right now! It brings me encouragement and hope when I think about it. It's gotten harder to wait the last week or two, the longer we go the more near it seems and I am more on the edge of my seat!

Officially over a month

Well, it amazes me that we have been waiting now over a month - this Monday will be 5 weeks. I am amazed not because I expected less of a wait but because it has been relatively smooth and a peaceful time (which is completely the Lords grace because in myself I tend to go nuts!). But I do think it has been so helpful to have two boys who need my constant care each day. I feel like I can place my energy on caring for them and instead of dwelling too much on the child we don't yet have but focus on the two we DO have before our eyes. I have been trying to prioritize and organize as much as possible before the baby comes. I recently heard two VERY encouraging messages that helped me grow in my understanding of how to use my time well and try and get all the things done that a day holds...which at times can seem overwhelming! I know those of you who have/are currently working through the paperchase can relate. I know I seem like the resource queen over here on my blog but I have seen these things bear such good fruit in my life and edify me in the dry times so if you have a little bit of time (while driving, cleaning, organizing a closet, cooking dinner, when kids are napping....) try and listen to one. The first is called "Can you do it all?....And do it well?" and the next is on Priorities and is just a Q&A type format. I have to constantly be renewing my mind about the things God has on my to do list, not my seeking to vainly accomplish things apart from his grace and his guidance.

An Everlasting Rock

A couple who was waiting just over 3 months for a little girl got their referral Thursday, check out their blog and see the sweet pictures. I also wanted to post the link to a good article on transracial adoption that Carolina Hope Christian Adoption Agency posted on their blog. It's entitled Interview: Thabiti on Transracial Adoption and the Gospel. I really think this recent news about all those babies in the Gladney home is exciting but it can be very distracting because now I feel like I have expectations. I am trying to remember that God not only KNOWS who our baby is (which is comforting) but he has PLANNED who our baby is (even more comforting). I want that baby and no other so I want to be patient. Before the information from the blogworld came I was really expecting to wait quite a while but now I am more excited and more expectant. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around how Gladney even goes about their matching and how many families are waiting for infants, etc. It makes me treasure even more that though these things are changing and out of my control God never changes. "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock." Isaiah 26:3-4. God is beckoning me, through this process, to trust in Him more and find a solid ground as opposed to my shaky replacements built of sand. I can't believe Monday will be a month already on the waiting list...praise God for his sustaining peace.

Could you be matched with us already baby Martin?

Ok, well I have been hearing "rumors" about there being a great big group of babies (15-20) in the Gladney baby home in Ethiopia just waiting to be referred. I was trying not to get too excited or presume our baby was there because if it's two more months I would go crazy thinking it was any day BUT after reading this post on the Daileaders blog I have to confess I am more excited than ever and thinking about our baby being with us soon! This is a family in Ethiopia picking up their adorable little baby girl, Sophie. They say on their blog: "After we spent more time with Sophie, we got a tour of the house and saw all 20 other babies. Yes, the house is very full right now (with 20 caregivers on shifts). For all of those waiting families – they are onto our ploy, so I didn’t get any specific info, but I do know that of the 20 babies, only 3 have already been referred, but all 17 others have been matched!! Sooo, as soon as the paperwork, medical testing, information gathering is complete, you will have your referral! Of course, this takes time for each child, but I can promise you that they are working very hard to get all of this done soon so they can take full advantage of the courts reopening. And amazingly, every baby there is under 9 months – and a few are only a month or so old!! Soo teensy – but not from lack of food – just from age! I’ll keep digging, but that’s my tidbit for today. I don’t know if I can post pictures from here, but I did take a picture of each baby and some video, so as soon as I can, you can see it. " --- WOW! How exciting that those babies have already been matched with families! Maybe our little one has been matched with us and is just waiting on all the details to get done and we will get our referral! But again, I am trying not to get myself too pumped up because I want to focus on the Lord and his perfect ways in bringing our baby to us. If this is His way then how awesome, but if not we will wait upon him and know that He is good!

Happy the Home

Happy the home when God is there,
And love fills every breast;
When one their wish, and one their prayer,
And one their heavenly rest.

Happy is the home where Jesus' name
Is sweet to every ear;
Where children early lisp His fame,
And parents hold him dear.

Happy the home where prayer is heard,
And praise is wont to rise;
Where parents love the sacred Word
That makes them truly wise.

Lord, let us in our homes agree,
This blessed peace to gain;
Until our hearts in love to Thee,
And love to all will reign.

Henry Ware, 1794-1843 (Taken from Secrets of Happy Home Life; J.R.Miller)

Race

I hope everyone is doing well. We are gearing up for Fall and we are anticipating the nice weather Fall always brings. We always spend more time outside and go on more walks because it's so beautiful so see the leaves changing and enjoy weather that isn't so sweltering. As it's something Gladney requires of us, Paul and I have to complete 10 hours of education regarding adoption. They provide some seminars online we can purchase and watch having to do with specific issues with adoption and Ethiopia. We can also read books. We were excited about this oppurtunity and my husband recently read a book on Adoption as a theological understanding. We want to use this training time to be steeping our minds as much as we can in God's word and how God's word can give us wisdom when it comes to this adoption and "issues". I have said it before but I get discouraged at times seeing the lack of biblical resources regarding adoption and international issues, etc. I feel that most of the books recommended to us have been bent in a worldy and unbiblical direction. Specifically the way it pertains to race. So when I read this Article called Many Ethnicities, One Race I was refreshed. He breaks down the way we, as a culture have developed this idea of "races" and that we can't find a biblical grounding for this nor the way cultural tradition allows race to define people, the church, etc. It's by Thabiti Anyabwile who is a pastor of a church of FBC Grand Cayman and used to be an elder at Mark Dever's church. We actually got to go to his church while visiting Grand Cayman earlier last year and he is an excellent preacher. We plan on reading a book called From every people and Nation: A biblical theology of race. I think we will enjoy watching the videos Gladney sent and reading things but I would encourage you (as well as Paul and myself) not to just read any book that you find at Barnes and Noble these days on adoption but seek to find things that are biblical and will help you see this adoption journey and "race" as God sees it!

Another family is blessed with their referral!

Check out this blog, congrats to Renee and Geert for all the exciting happenings in your world lately! I hadn't checked their blog lately and was sweetly surprised to see they got their referral for a cousin duo I believe and they are just edible! Our Ethiopian Adoption Story.

Phinehas at 16 months

I can't believe my youngest child is 16 months old! He is so cute and so much fun. It's neat to see him and Job playing together now that he is a little older and able to. Job and him are a little under 2 years apart. He is talking so much now too: "Juice", "Dat du" = thank you, "Job", "apple", "Bye", "down", "keys" and other stuff ...he even said "Oatmeal" this morning when we were at breakfast. He pointed to his bowl and said "Oatmeal", it was crazy. We also finally took scissors to his locks! It was tough for me because he had these adorable curls in the back but now he looks like such a big kid and I love that too! It's making me all the more excited to have a little baby in my arms again whom I can kiss on and eat up (I, of course do this with my boys but they usually won't have it for more than a second or two since they are such boys.) Well, enjoy the pics!

One week over with!

Well we have been officially waiting a whole week - yay! It has gone by surprisingly fast which encourages me. I have also been busy getting some nursery items together. We don't know which gender we will be getting so it's a little hard but I also don't want to completely wait to decorate. We decided to go with a more natural nursery and use creams, browns and some blues. The room is painted a nice blue color that has some green to it. I will try and post some pics when the art is hung. It's sweet to go in the room and see the new baby's crib there, it makes me very excited and things feel closer. Our youngest, Phin, will be sharing a room with the baby. They will most likely be pretty close in age (he's only 16 mos.) so hopefully it will work out fine. Our 3 year old is up a little later and on a little bit different schedule so we will see how things go but if need be we will stick Phin in with Job. I don't really know what to expect the first month or two with the baby waking up and all. I am used to newborns, who can wake up anywhere from 2-4 hours a night but my boys always slept through the night at like 6-8 weeks so I'm wondering how long things take with time changes. Anyone feel free to give some feedback although just like newborns every baby is probably really different as to how long adjustments take. I didn't mind waking up with the boys and as I've read some other people's posts it encourages me that the night feedings are a sweet time of bonding. Isn't it amazing we get to care for our children? Although I don't always, in my sinfulness, see things this way I am humbled that I get to be a mom and that the things I do in my day that can seem so monotonous are worship to God when I do them for His glory. Even the laundry and changing of diapers! These things that I do to care for my family are lasting and eternal. What an honor. Well, we will let you know when we hear anything - but we are here for the long haul!

The Sovereignty of God

Please take the time to watch this video, it was so encouraging. I pray God will cause me to hope in Him to such a sweet degree.

"You are on Waitlist!"

This was the subject heading of an email I recieved from gladney this afternoon! I didn't expect this until the end of this week but we are thrilled to be finally on the waiting list - to God be all glory! I can't believe, by his grace we are finally at this point. He has given so much grace thus far and we anticipate seeing how he will continue to sustain and satisfy us as we now wait for our referral . Mary at Gladney said in my email: "You are officially placed on waitlist to receive a referral! Currently, families have waited up to three months to receive a referral on average. Congratulations on making it through the tedious dossier process! I will be in touch with you as soon as a referral is ready for you. I ask for your patience during this time and completely understand that “waiting” is probably the most difficult (yet exciting!) part for most parents." How exciting and yet I know I will be tempted toward anxiety at times now that we are this close. Oh I pray I will fight that temptation and by God's grace, trust Him! I want this waiting time to be fruitful and sweetly seasoned with a peace only God can give. I want to enjoy the things that God has placed before me today and know that this is his good plan for me and when He sees it best we will know who our little one is. Pray for our hearts at this time to be joyful and humble. Luther says: "Where our trust is, there is our God; where the treasure, there the heart is." I pray that during this time my trust would not be in that call or our number on the waiting list or who gets a referral before us or when we travel, etc. but would be my God. A God who continually overflows with goodness and mercy, who I can come to when I am tempted to sin or need to confess sin and find grace for this journey. I am just thrilled we now have nothing to do and that we will within a few months time know the gender, age and story of our little one!!!

Preschool Resources

Sometimes on this blog I feel like all I do is put up resources, but I really want to share the good things I find. I want to post up a great book that has activites for birth-5 children and also a toddler/preschool resource I found last year to use with my son Job who was 2 at the time. He is now 3 and will be doing the curriculum for 3's this year. This sounds complicated and like it takes so much time but we only do something 2-3 days a week for like 30-40 minutes when Phinehas takes his morning nap. It's always neat and I think when I schedule in this time it helps me be more intentional about teaching Job the Bible, spending some time in his world and stopping whatever I am doing to focus on playing (I definately struggle with taking time from cleaning or chores to do stuff like this). We have not been doing it this summer and don't always do everything the lessons suggest but if you are creatively challenged like me it's helpful and gives me lots of ideas and ways to teach Job through activites that will help him learn God's character and the Scriptures. I am hoping things can go smoothly with it as we start again - until the adoption starts rolling and we can pick up whenever we are able to but while we are just waiting for things to happen I want to treasure the boys God has given me right now and the time I have with them. I also want to start some things up with Phin now that he's getting older (I can't believe he's going to be 16 mos! It's madness!). With Phinehas I will do some activities from a book called Slow and Steady, Get me Ready. This book is great because it's activites birth-age 5 so I can even do things with the new baby from this book, and they are really simple and take hardly any planning or time. And the website for Job's curriculum is called Hubbard's Cupboard. A great book publishing website I found recently that looks wonderful and I plan on ordering the boys some books, they republish old books that are edited and updated but seem to have really rich, gospel focused, character building lessons. It's hard to find childrens books with spiritual weight to them but these older books seem to have it. They are expensive but I found them cheaper by checking Best Book Deal. The website for those books is Lamplighter Publishing. Even if you don't do stuff like this I hope you are encouraged for whatever season you are in to find it a joy and blessing to be enjoying your children and delighting to teach them about the awesome God who made them.

Dangerous intersection in India

This is crazy! May I never again complain at a redlight!!

Doing Better

Our little Phin

I am so thankful for the Lord's mercy to me this week, I am feeling SO much better! We are back to our routine and I am trying not to go crazy this week but still give myself time to keep getting better. We have had a setback with the dossier paperwork but are learning patience! Kate sent me an email yesterday asking if we had sent the items that we had to change because the notary had used the wrong language so I told her we overnighted them the Saturday before last. But she had been out of town for three days last week and had her mail held but they put our package seperately from her other items and so she didn't recieve it when picking up the other things last week, and is just recieveing it today after realizing the mix up. It was so obvious to me that the Lord is at work, I am glad there has been previous trials that have been humbling my heart to recieve his much wiser ways than my own. It inclined my heart to worship Him with greater thankfulness today, that of course I am up and able to even change a diaper or cook a meal after such a hard physical ordeal but also that it is apparent HE is at work to even tuck away a package so that His timing is perfect and we are placed on the waiting list and given a referal at the moment he ordains. I have been freed up to realize, what if this adoption takes much more time than we anticipate? What is God's desire for me during the waiting time and the daily battle with impatience and pride in feeling like I should control things and can accomlish things in my own strength? I believe it's Faith. Faith honors God and gives me joy. When I trust that everything is coming from His hand and I can only accomplish that which he designs it drives me toward joy, peace and bearing spiritual fruit for godliness. I read Psalm 34 this morning, listen to these verses for the weary hearted: "I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continuall be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad...I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints, and those who fear him have no lack! The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing." (Ps.34:1-2,3-6;8-10). Do I really believe these verses? That the Lord is good and therefore can only do "good" toward me? That I will have no lack of grace to bring glory to Him even in the hard things and that when I seek the Lord I will lack no good thing? That implies that I will believe it is not ultimately the best possible thing for us to be done with our dossier at this point and God has been good in restraining our purposes to bring about his own (even in paperwork!). I want to pose to you this question: Have you tasted and seen that the Lord is good today? If you haven't I would encourage you to seek Him through his word and find refreshment before the day is done.

Some Things to Think On

We have had a crazy week! I was in the ER with an intense headache which then turned into a spinal headache, which I had to get a blood patch to relieve and I am currently recovering. My family and friends have been so helpful to make meals, serve and pray for us this week. The Lord has also been at work in my own heart through this trial. It has been extremely humbling for me to be so needy and literally lying flat unable to do anything. My boys have done really well though which encourages me because I think they will do awesome when we go to Ethiopia but that doesn't mean I am looking foward to leaving them...I think it could very well be the hardest part of our trip! Anyways, my husband recently downloaded some things for us to listen to. He had found some things by Russell Moore having to do with adoption. Dr. Moore has given us a lot to think about regarding adoption and I wanted to point you in the direction to hear the sermons and radio programs that have been so encouraging. For those of you who don't know, Russell Moore is the Dean of the School of Theology at Southern Baptist Seminary and has adopted two boys from Russia (and has since had two biological children). He is a huge advocate for the church adopting and imparts a whole lot of biblical wisdom. I think he brings a good perspective that we need because sometimes we are only being fed the issues/resolutions in adoption with the slant of a non-biblical, non-christian worldview. There's not a whole lot of biblical, Christ-centered, counseling resources having to do with adoption, trans-racial issues, etc. I hope these will encourage your heart and renew your mind. May this help us love our little ones and the world well that God may be exalted.
*Russ Moore was a guest host on the Albert Molher Program. These are only about 30 minutes. It's called 'Adoption and the Gospel of Jesus Christ'. It deals with the church and it's views of adoption and why we should be adopting, this is very good.
*Again, he hosted the Albert Mohler Program. It's called Is Transracial Adoption Anything More Than 'Abduction'?
*This is a sermon called 'Natural Born Kings: Adoption and the household of the Gospel'.

Hello Again

Well we have been quite busy over the last few weeks and haven't been able to post as much as usual. We had some close friends come to town for a visit, painted a room in the house and went on a family vacation to the beach for a week. We have really enjoyed our time together and had a blast with daddy being with us for the whole week. We had Paul's parents and grandparents with us for a few days and then it was just us. We ate good seafood, went to the beach, the pool, an alligator farm and took rides around on the golf cart with the boys (always a hit with two boys who are obsessed with things containing wheels...), did a little shopping and read some good books. We also hit up one of our favorite Chrisitan Book Stores in Wilmington called The Salt Shaker. We could spend hours in there!! They even carry the Puritans, which you will not find at your local Lifeway. Some cute pictures from our trip follow:

Anyways we are glad to be back and thankful for little gifts from God like rest and vacation but eager to be in daily life and on with things for the adoption. We also got a call while there from Kate, letting us know that some of our last items were not accepted to be authenticated in NC because they were notarized wrong. We also found out that two of the grants will not work out for us at this time, although they could in the early fall. These things were discouraging but as my husband put it, "It is bittersweet" and I said "What do you mean, it is just bitter", to which he replied "It's bitter because it didn't work out but it's sweet because now we can see God's greatness and power in providing for us like only he can." This is so true and this has been the theme of our adoption. In order for our adoption as sons of God to take place it costs God his only son, which is an infinate amount. It encourages our hearts when we think this way, knowing God will give us grace, provide in his ways at His time. I think at times I just want things to go smoothly, be easy and get this cute little baby at the end of it all but God is pruning my heart, working in our family and revealing more of himself and his power through this. It is not simply about growing our family by adding another child. I pray (and you can pray for us too!) that we will have eyes to see God's work and a heart that submits joyfully to his perfect design. I want to embrace the trials he bring about for my good, knowing that he is sanctifying me and is wise in all his ways. I do not want to harden my heart and make my demands, turning this adoption and this child into my idol, which will NEVER satisfy. We are always worshipping and I think I don't realize my idolatrous heart until something goes wrong and my response in not humility and dependance upon God but anger, despair and unbelief. It struck me like never before I am, at the heart-level, just as Rachel when she doubted the goodness of God and demanded to Jacob that she be given a child. "When Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, she envied her sister. She said to Jacob, "Give me children, or I shall die!" Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel, and he said, "Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?". Rachel then resorts to her own methods of getting what her heart is craving (read the story for yourself in Genesis 30). This is so often my heart, and I think it can be applied to countless things we feel we MUST have to be happy. I long to crucify these sinful cravings that are not for God himself but I have elevated the gift above the giver. I want to have a heart that clings to God as my treasure. I think when this happens, his grace to change my sinful desires and help me love him above all else, exalts him greatly in this adoption. We go to finish up these last (hopefully last!) things and then wait for them to be authenticated, THEN we go on the waiting list. Another exciting announcment is that our friends The Mestas Family got their referral!!!!!! We were thrilled for them and amazed at God's great work in giving them two twin 51/2 mos old baby girls and their brother, a 2 1/2 yr old boy. You must see their pictures, they are precious! It makes me so excited for when we get that call.