The Sovereignty of God

Please take the time to watch this video, it was so encouraging. I pray God will cause me to hope in Him to such a sweet degree.

"You are on Waitlist!"

This was the subject heading of an email I recieved from gladney this afternoon! I didn't expect this until the end of this week but we are thrilled to be finally on the waiting list - to God be all glory! I can't believe, by his grace we are finally at this point. He has given so much grace thus far and we anticipate seeing how he will continue to sustain and satisfy us as we now wait for our referral . Mary at Gladney said in my email: "You are officially placed on waitlist to receive a referral! Currently, families have waited up to three months to receive a referral on average. Congratulations on making it through the tedious dossier process! I will be in touch with you as soon as a referral is ready for you. I ask for your patience during this time and completely understand that “waiting” is probably the most difficult (yet exciting!) part for most parents." How exciting and yet I know I will be tempted toward anxiety at times now that we are this close. Oh I pray I will fight that temptation and by God's grace, trust Him! I want this waiting time to be fruitful and sweetly seasoned with a peace only God can give. I want to enjoy the things that God has placed before me today and know that this is his good plan for me and when He sees it best we will know who our little one is. Pray for our hearts at this time to be joyful and humble. Luther says: "Where our trust is, there is our God; where the treasure, there the heart is." I pray that during this time my trust would not be in that call or our number on the waiting list or who gets a referral before us or when we travel, etc. but would be my God. A God who continually overflows with goodness and mercy, who I can come to when I am tempted to sin or need to confess sin and find grace for this journey. I am just thrilled we now have nothing to do and that we will within a few months time know the gender, age and story of our little one!!!

Preschool Resources

Sometimes on this blog I feel like all I do is put up resources, but I really want to share the good things I find. I want to post up a great book that has activites for birth-5 children and also a toddler/preschool resource I found last year to use with my son Job who was 2 at the time. He is now 3 and will be doing the curriculum for 3's this year. This sounds complicated and like it takes so much time but we only do something 2-3 days a week for like 30-40 minutes when Phinehas takes his morning nap. It's always neat and I think when I schedule in this time it helps me be more intentional about teaching Job the Bible, spending some time in his world and stopping whatever I am doing to focus on playing (I definately struggle with taking time from cleaning or chores to do stuff like this). We have not been doing it this summer and don't always do everything the lessons suggest but if you are creatively challenged like me it's helpful and gives me lots of ideas and ways to teach Job through activites that will help him learn God's character and the Scriptures. I am hoping things can go smoothly with it as we start again - until the adoption starts rolling and we can pick up whenever we are able to but while we are just waiting for things to happen I want to treasure the boys God has given me right now and the time I have with them. I also want to start some things up with Phin now that he's getting older (I can't believe he's going to be 16 mos! It's madness!). With Phinehas I will do some activities from a book called Slow and Steady, Get me Ready. This book is great because it's activites birth-age 5 so I can even do things with the new baby from this book, and they are really simple and take hardly any planning or time. And the website for Job's curriculum is called Hubbard's Cupboard. A great book publishing website I found recently that looks wonderful and I plan on ordering the boys some books, they republish old books that are edited and updated but seem to have really rich, gospel focused, character building lessons. It's hard to find childrens books with spiritual weight to them but these older books seem to have it. They are expensive but I found them cheaper by checking Best Book Deal. The website for those books is Lamplighter Publishing. Even if you don't do stuff like this I hope you are encouraged for whatever season you are in to find it a joy and blessing to be enjoying your children and delighting to teach them about the awesome God who made them.

Dangerous intersection in India

This is crazy! May I never again complain at a redlight!!

Doing Better

Our little Phin

I am so thankful for the Lord's mercy to me this week, I am feeling SO much better! We are back to our routine and I am trying not to go crazy this week but still give myself time to keep getting better. We have had a setback with the dossier paperwork but are learning patience! Kate sent me an email yesterday asking if we had sent the items that we had to change because the notary had used the wrong language so I told her we overnighted them the Saturday before last. But she had been out of town for three days last week and had her mail held but they put our package seperately from her other items and so she didn't recieve it when picking up the other things last week, and is just recieveing it today after realizing the mix up. It was so obvious to me that the Lord is at work, I am glad there has been previous trials that have been humbling my heart to recieve his much wiser ways than my own. It inclined my heart to worship Him with greater thankfulness today, that of course I am up and able to even change a diaper or cook a meal after such a hard physical ordeal but also that it is apparent HE is at work to even tuck away a package so that His timing is perfect and we are placed on the waiting list and given a referal at the moment he ordains. I have been freed up to realize, what if this adoption takes much more time than we anticipate? What is God's desire for me during the waiting time and the daily battle with impatience and pride in feeling like I should control things and can accomlish things in my own strength? I believe it's Faith. Faith honors God and gives me joy. When I trust that everything is coming from His hand and I can only accomplish that which he designs it drives me toward joy, peace and bearing spiritual fruit for godliness. I read Psalm 34 this morning, listen to these verses for the weary hearted: "I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continuall be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad...I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints, and those who fear him have no lack! The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing." (Ps.34:1-2,3-6;8-10). Do I really believe these verses? That the Lord is good and therefore can only do "good" toward me? That I will have no lack of grace to bring glory to Him even in the hard things and that when I seek the Lord I will lack no good thing? That implies that I will believe it is not ultimately the best possible thing for us to be done with our dossier at this point and God has been good in restraining our purposes to bring about his own (even in paperwork!). I want to pose to you this question: Have you tasted and seen that the Lord is good today? If you haven't I would encourage you to seek Him through his word and find refreshment before the day is done.

Some Things to Think On

We have had a crazy week! I was in the ER with an intense headache which then turned into a spinal headache, which I had to get a blood patch to relieve and I am currently recovering. My family and friends have been so helpful to make meals, serve and pray for us this week. The Lord has also been at work in my own heart through this trial. It has been extremely humbling for me to be so needy and literally lying flat unable to do anything. My boys have done really well though which encourages me because I think they will do awesome when we go to Ethiopia but that doesn't mean I am looking foward to leaving them...I think it could very well be the hardest part of our trip! Anyways, my husband recently downloaded some things for us to listen to. He had found some things by Russell Moore having to do with adoption. Dr. Moore has given us a lot to think about regarding adoption and I wanted to point you in the direction to hear the sermons and radio programs that have been so encouraging. For those of you who don't know, Russell Moore is the Dean of the School of Theology at Southern Baptist Seminary and has adopted two boys from Russia (and has since had two biological children). He is a huge advocate for the church adopting and imparts a whole lot of biblical wisdom. I think he brings a good perspective that we need because sometimes we are only being fed the issues/resolutions in adoption with the slant of a non-biblical, non-christian worldview. There's not a whole lot of biblical, Christ-centered, counseling resources having to do with adoption, trans-racial issues, etc. I hope these will encourage your heart and renew your mind. May this help us love our little ones and the world well that God may be exalted.
*Russ Moore was a guest host on the Albert Molher Program. These are only about 30 minutes. It's called 'Adoption and the Gospel of Jesus Christ'. It deals with the church and it's views of adoption and why we should be adopting, this is very good.
*Again, he hosted the Albert Mohler Program. It's called Is Transracial Adoption Anything More Than 'Abduction'?
*This is a sermon called 'Natural Born Kings: Adoption and the household of the Gospel'.

Hello Again

Well we have been quite busy over the last few weeks and haven't been able to post as much as usual. We had some close friends come to town for a visit, painted a room in the house and went on a family vacation to the beach for a week. We have really enjoyed our time together and had a blast with daddy being with us for the whole week. We had Paul's parents and grandparents with us for a few days and then it was just us. We ate good seafood, went to the beach, the pool, an alligator farm and took rides around on the golf cart with the boys (always a hit with two boys who are obsessed with things containing wheels...), did a little shopping and read some good books. We also hit up one of our favorite Chrisitan Book Stores in Wilmington called The Salt Shaker. We could spend hours in there!! They even carry the Puritans, which you will not find at your local Lifeway. Some cute pictures from our trip follow:

Anyways we are glad to be back and thankful for little gifts from God like rest and vacation but eager to be in daily life and on with things for the adoption. We also got a call while there from Kate, letting us know that some of our last items were not accepted to be authenticated in NC because they were notarized wrong. We also found out that two of the grants will not work out for us at this time, although they could in the early fall. These things were discouraging but as my husband put it, "It is bittersweet" and I said "What do you mean, it is just bitter", to which he replied "It's bitter because it didn't work out but it's sweet because now we can see God's greatness and power in providing for us like only he can." This is so true and this has been the theme of our adoption. In order for our adoption as sons of God to take place it costs God his only son, which is an infinate amount. It encourages our hearts when we think this way, knowing God will give us grace, provide in his ways at His time. I think at times I just want things to go smoothly, be easy and get this cute little baby at the end of it all but God is pruning my heart, working in our family and revealing more of himself and his power through this. It is not simply about growing our family by adding another child. I pray (and you can pray for us too!) that we will have eyes to see God's work and a heart that submits joyfully to his perfect design. I want to embrace the trials he bring about for my good, knowing that he is sanctifying me and is wise in all his ways. I do not want to harden my heart and make my demands, turning this adoption and this child into my idol, which will NEVER satisfy. We are always worshipping and I think I don't realize my idolatrous heart until something goes wrong and my response in not humility and dependance upon God but anger, despair and unbelief. It struck me like never before I am, at the heart-level, just as Rachel when she doubted the goodness of God and demanded to Jacob that she be given a child. "When Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, she envied her sister. She said to Jacob, "Give me children, or I shall die!" Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel, and he said, "Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?". Rachel then resorts to her own methods of getting what her heart is craving (read the story for yourself in Genesis 30). This is so often my heart, and I think it can be applied to countless things we feel we MUST have to be happy. I long to crucify these sinful cravings that are not for God himself but I have elevated the gift above the giver. I want to have a heart that clings to God as my treasure. I think when this happens, his grace to change my sinful desires and help me love him above all else, exalts him greatly in this adoption. We go to finish up these last (hopefully last!) things and then wait for them to be authenticated, THEN we go on the waiting list. Another exciting announcment is that our friends The Mestas Family got their referral!!!!!! We were thrilled for them and amazed at God's great work in giving them two twin 51/2 mos old baby girls and their brother, a 2 1/2 yr old boy. You must see their pictures, they are precious! It makes me so excited for when we get that call.

Minneapolis Bridge Collapse

Please pray for those affected by the horrible events that happened in Minneapolis yesterday evening. Also pray that believers in the area are able to minister to those affected. John Piper's church is in the area and in fact is within sight of the bridge and desiring God offices are about a mile from the bridge. Piper wrote a God-centered article regarding these events that I would challenge you to read it here. Again, please remember to pray for the people in this area and Bethlehem Baptist Church.